The Beginning of The End

I came here to write and I think this may be the last, if not just one of the last posts that will appear here. My renewal is supposed to hit in December, but I don’t think I’ll pay to keep my url. I’m not writing enough to justify the cost.

And…I’m tired.

This first 6 weeks of school has worn me down in ways I tried not to think about ahead of time. I work all week, get off early some days so that I can run from one place to another and try to support my kids in everything they do. And my poor boys…they don’t even have an activity right now and I feel guilty about it. But there’s not time, even if they’d want to do something!

It’s difficult to describe and talk about without coming off as a complaint. There’s nothing I’d rather do thanย  see all the things my kids do. I want to meet with their teachers and coaches and find out how I can support them. I want to take Sarah to every possible university she’d consider attending. I want to watch every volleyball game, tennis match, choir performance, etc.

The mom-guilt is strong right now because even though I am making it to so much, I am still missing so much. Sarah is ready to move on from high school, yet has to endure these last months until graduation. I’ve missed some volleyball, but not too much. But that’s not bringing her much joy right now either. Dani is getting established in high school: she’s played tennis this fall and she earned a spot in the fall musical (“In the Heights”), she’s experiencing new and different education philosophies at her school and adjusting and she’s still active in her faith journey and figuring that stuff out, too. Helen’s playing volleyball and I’ve only made it to one of her matches so far. She’s doing well with organization and staying up on her studies and all reports point to excellent behavior, too. Dominic has signed up for choir at his school (only offered to 4th and 5th graders) and (finally!) his teacher returned from paternity leave so he’s enjoying every day at school. Vincent seems to be enjoying school, too, which makes me so happy because he literally seemed to hate it before. He’s going to do the “Fit Team” in October which will give him something “extra” to do and fit in with Dominic’s choir rehearsal schedule, too. But this is just a tip-of-the-iceberg of the things we’re doing and there are times I feel so overwhelmed.

So…anyway, I wanted to post something here with enough time to let anyone who would concern themselves with my blog know that it won’t be here starting sometime the beginning of December. I think it will be okay: I still have facebook and instagram to keep family/friends updated on our doings.

It won’t make me any less tired not to keep up a blog, but it will lessen my anxiety about “I haven’t written in forever, I should probably do that…” ๐Ÿ™‚

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Fearless 15!

Today, Dani turns 15 years old. My second-born daughter who brings immense joy to us all. Happy Birthday, sweet girl!

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She enjoys baking and always bakes her own cake

The weekend Dani was born it poured rain the whole time. I was going in to be induced because an ultrasound showed I had low fluid. On that Saturday, I ran around getting last things done with Sarah while Craig worked in the produce department at Target. In and out of the car — rain, rain and more rain. We drove in the rain to Saturday evening Mass — rain. We dropped Sarah off at her grandmother’s house — rain. Even as we checked into the hospital and all night long, all anyone could say was how much rain we were getting.

I remember fondly my birth experience with Dani. It was so different from Sarah (I had switched doctors). I remember the nurses were incredible helping me prepare overnight while contractions got started. My water broke around 8, and my doctor probably came to the hospital rather directly after Mass (at least I remember he looked like he may have) and checked on me only to see that it was time to have a baby! I started to push and he realized I wouldn’t be pushing all that long and he better get his scrubs on! Ha! All in all, I pushed twice and out she came with a tint of red in her hair and screaming. I knew this one would be different in the very first seconds of her life.

I never knew if Dani was simply a well-adjusted newborn or if Craig and I really had gotten the hang of this parenting thing. Dani was sleeping through the night really quickly and was an overall happy baby. We learned with Helen that it was probably just that Dani had a temperament that got used to being a baby outside the womb really quickly. ๐Ÿ™‚

Dani has grown into one of the kindest souls. She enjoys performing and looks for ways to bring others joy. She is incredibly close with her siblings. She’s been a little later in life to find a really strong friend or two outside of her siblings, but that’s okay — she comes by it honestly, I wasn’t quick to make friends outside of family, either.

I’m excited to watch her high school years unfold — they’ve had a great start with tennis and she found out today she was cast in the fall musical!

So, happy birthday to my sweet-tempered, kind-hearted baby girl, Dani. She’s one bright, shiny star!