It struck me this morning that we are headed down the path to our new normal. I’ve been exercising regularly, the kids have just about a month more for the school year and that will be over, Craig and I go about getting to our jobs, coming home and caring for kids. Even Dominic and Vincent have their own routines. Vincent’s mostly entails asking for his Daddy every. single. morning. and never asking for his Mommy unless it’s very clear he cannot have his Daddy.
I was re-reading some of my posts last night when I got to this one about time and the way it passes. I wondered when time would speed back up for me, because I knew it would. This morning, I thought a bit about it and realized time has probably picked back up. The weeks are flipping by at the pace I consider normal for the end of the school year when spring is upon us. (It sure would be nice if Mother Nature would cooperate and provide us the proper season…but I digress.) I’m back to the pace where I don’t have time to look at the stuff on my desk and organize it — both at work and at home. I’m back to the pace where if I don’t run in the morning, it’s kind of hard to work it in at any other point of the day. I’m back to the pace where I’m looking forward to the summer away from school and activities and homework. I know the kids will still have activities, but they are different in the summer when we don’t have to work in full school days, too.
I’m aware enough to realize I haven’t sent thank-you’s from Helen’s birthday party (it was the Saturday before all of this happened) so I’ve started that process, hoping people understand the delay.
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I realize that I don’t mind the buzz. I kind of like it. I am engaged and participating. It’s not unsettling and every day seems a little less sad.
I still have moments, though. Something someone says hits me weird. I see a quote on Facebook, or I read something that brings on the tears.
Then it passes.
And I move on to the next thing I’m doing.
It’s not the same normal it was before. It’s different. But…it feels normal, still.