When My Mind Wanders…

This random post brought to you by preggo-brain.  Sometimes when I am suffering my anxiety of an unsure world, I need to take solace in the happy things my mind can dwell on.

When my mind wanders these days…

…I’m done with pregnancy and pulling this old body back together
…I get pool time and can swim any time I want
…I can walk for miles and climb stairs for days

…I can run 13.1 in sub-2 hours
…and not only survive but KILL IT for 45 minutes of Boot Camp
When my mind wanders to places long ago forgotten…
…I’m recording “kills” and “aces” on the volleyball court

…and shooting the game winning baseline jumper

…and winning my one and only individual swimming event, 11-12 100 Yd Individual Medley

When my mind wanders into the future…

…I’m taking Sarah shopping for a Homecoming gown

…I’m attending a solo performance by my kick-ass guitar-vocalist, Dani

…I’m crying happy tears while my baby girl, Helen, receives her first Holy Communion

…watching Dominic win the State spelling bee

…peeking through my fingers to watch as Vincent takes a jump/fall on a bungee cord

…holding an asyetunknowntome child in my arms

When my mind dreams big dreams…

…one of my children enters a convent or a seminary and devotes his or her life to God

…there are graduations, and ambitions, and weddings, and grand-babies

…Craig and I come to a place so filled with love and memories, 
that even though it’s “empty”…it’s not



7 Quick Takes – 40

— 1 —
It’s the day for the March for Life!  Since the MSM won’t be covering any of it, it’s probably good if as many of us out on the interwebz make sure as many people as possible know about it.  I would imagine my readership already knows about it, but just in case you didn’t….guarantee there are LOTS of people on the Mall in DC today marching for Life.  I know of several “big kids” from families around me are there.  I really want to go some day.  I might go in a year or two and take Sarah.  She should be old enough then to be able to handle everything that goes on there (I’m not a big fan of graphic images depicting abortion, even though I know the only way to fight it is to bring it out in the open, I need to make sure my kid is ready to see that sort of thing).
— 2 —
Pretty eventful week around here.  On Wednesday I suffered a 90 minute bout with a chest pain that flared from chest to back.  It was alarming enough that I called the doc (who is out of the office on Wednesdays, yay!)  The docs at the practice ordered me to the ER and paged my doc so he’d know what’s going on.  He called me ahead of my trip to the ER to prep me for what I could/should ask for and what to avoid (i.e., try to figure something out using ultrasound on legs and progress slowly to things involving radiation and opt for CT Scan over VQ Scan…stuff like that)

— 3 —

I left work to go to the ER around 12:30 and didn’t leave the ER until around 5:45!  Word…CT scans are scary.  They put a shield under me and two over my abdomen but I was still frightened to tears about whether it would harm the baby while it was going on.  Once all that was over and they determined I had not had a heart attack and I did not have any blood clots in my lungs (or anywhere else!) I was sent home with instructions to follow-up with my doctor.

— 4 —
I worked from home on Thursday, Yay for awesome bosses who understand that I can be productive even if they don’t see me there!!  I had my follow-up and the doctor ruled out anxiety reasons and things like gall bladder inflammation.  He said it could have been reflux.  I thought it was weird, but he said that if it happens again, he’ll probably prescribe an antacid for me to take.  then if it still happens, we’ll have to look into other causes.

And then I asked him to listen to the heartbeat for the baby because that CT scan was scary and I just wanted the reassurance.  So he did.  And baby was on the move!  But we finally got it nailed down and hearbeat was 130. Good and strong, and…I’ll let you in on my hunch — I’m thinking another boy.  My girls were always higher…up in the 160’s.  Dominic was usually in the 120’s and Vincent was usually 135 (neither of my boys ever went over 140).  So…perhaps the ultrasound will prove me wrong in a few weeks, but there is my hunch.  🙂

— 5 —

And the doctor’s office JUST called and said I can stop the progesterone injections!!! Yay!!!

— 6 —
Ok, back to abortion awareness.  I read a few posts this week that I wanted to link to here that I think would be good to review if you care about this issue:
Calah at Barefoot and Pregnant:  There Is No Freedom In This Choice
Rae at There Is No Wealth But Life:  I Don’t Trust The Pro-Life Movement
Bad Catholic and his response to this evil, diabolical ad: Happy 40th Anniversary, Baby

— 7—

Cold weather and me — nyeh…don’t really get along.  My skin dries out, I shiver and my teeth chatter and because I like to have a managable energy bill, we layer up in our house instead of spiking the thermostat.  The thing is, that I do like it to get cold for a good period each year because I am really not a fan of bugs — especially the kind that get bigger and bigger because it didn’t get cold enough to kill them off in the winter.  So, I guess you could say I have a love-hate relationship with the cold.  This week has been bitterly cold in Kansas City.  Not as cold as Minnesota or some place like that.  But still, pretty darn cold.  with that being said…I am READY for SPRING!!!!! 

How about you?

Be sure to visit Jen at Conversion Diary for more 7 Quick Takes

The Deafening Silence

It has been 40 years since the landmark Supreme Court decision, Roe v. Wade, made abortion legal in this country. 

 I turn 40 years old later this year.

Ever since I was old enough to make the correlation that my birthday was the same year as the year abortion became legal in this country, it has stuck with me.  My mother could have aborted me.

I am a member of Generation X…a generation cut in half from previous generations because of legalized and widespread use of contraception and because of legalized abortion.  My generation can never make a difference like the Baby Boomers.  We are too small, therefore we are ignored.  We are silent, because half of us are missing.

We live in a world where science has confirmed that something new with its own DNA is created at the moment of conception, yet we lack the conviction to stand up for these human beings and allow them to be born. We live in a society where more and more people believe it is wrong to kill an unborn child, but no one wants to tell anyone else what to do.  We live in a world where someone who shoots and kills a pregnant woman and the baby she carries can be convicted for two homicides, yet we ensure the right of a woman to enlist the services of an abortionist to terminate an unborn human being with no consequence.  We live in a country where we are told a woman must have this choice and we bill it as a choice, but the reality is that the women who show up for an abortion usually claim that they have no choice. 

I often wonder what a full-fledged Generation X could have done in this country when we never had the chance. What friends might I have made, given the opportunity? Sadly, many people of my generation are missing siblings.  I know the option was given to my mother on a couple of different occasions with my younger siblings…thank God she did not go that route. How different would the landscape be if we were all here?

Many studies about Gen X discuss how we are the most let-down generation in history…and it all started with the fact that so many of our parents aborted us. 

Obviously, Generation Y and all the generations subsequent to mine can claim the same.  There have been 50,000,000 children slaughtered in this country in the one place that should be the safest for them — their mother’s womb.  Lord have mercy.

Today, I will pray for the millions of children who never get a chance to live.  Most Holy Innocents, pray for us.  Most Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us.  Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.


Monday Mumbles – 38

Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday! I’m happy to be spending this Monday NOT at work. 🙂

Are you doing anything special for the day?  Me?  I have Dominic’s 4-year-checkup and Vincent’s 18-mo checkup, but not much else going on.

1.  One thing I didn’t do very well with the last five babies was take belly shots.  So, I thought I would do better this time, in case it’s my last shot at it.

2.  Here is the belly at 13 weeks:

3.  Okay, so there you go.  I wish I could get over disliking photos of myself.  But the damage runs so deep I just don’t think I’ll ever get there.

4.  Took the girls to the skating rink Sunday evening and got some good mom-time with a couple of other moms there.  That was nice.

5.  Here are the pictures I snapped.  It’s times like this I start noticing how grown up my girls are looking.

Helen — these little “helpers” are pretty cool…

Sarah (in the pink)

Dani while upright — poor girl took quite a few tumbles

6.  Before the skating rink, Sarah had volleyball practice.  They worked her quite a bit on setting today…

7. The 40th anniversary of the Roe v. Wade decision legalizing abortion in this country is January 22. It is not lost on me that I was born the very same year. More on this on Wednesday…

8.  Turning 4 was a monumental occasion for Dominic.  On Friday, he tried to give me trouble about going to school.  He said he belonged in Mrs. P’s class because he was now 4.  I told him he is still in Mrs. T’s class and the fact that he turned 4 had no bearing on that.  He was not impressed.

9.  So, it’s been on my mind quite a bit what we are going to do when Sarah goes to high school.  We have a decent school district and a wonderful Catholic high school to choose from.  It feels so stressful because I really do believe when we decide for Sarah, we will decide for the whole lot of the kids.  

10.  We really need to figure out some way to make every weekend a 3-day weekend.  At least for work.  I don’t care about the kids getting 3 day weekends necessarily.  I mean, we are heading into February and my kids don’t go to school for a full week the entire month (omgoodness, I’m going to have to have a gripey post about that at some point.  Every February, it ticks me off for some reason.)

Okay!  Enjoy your Monday!

7 Quick Takes – 39

— 1 —
I am tired, y’all.  Oh. so. tired.  Sometimes, I fear this is what I do at work:

— 2 —
I am pretty sure I’ve been caught yawning…:

— 3 —

No lie, on Wednesday night, this was me about 2 seconds after walking in the door after work:

— 4 —
And I hardly moved from the couch all night.  Craig brought me dinner, but I did rise off the couch and go into the kitchen to eat.  Craig got the kids ready for bed.  


Okay, enough about that.  Ahem.

— 5 —

So, remember I told you all Monday was my first OB appointment?  I hadn’t had an opportunity to hear the heartbeat yet.  And, I gotta tell you all, I was nervous the past 8 weeks or so wondering if ultimately, I would hear only one heartbeat.  I wasn’t real vocal about my nervous anxiety about twins this go round, but as irrational as it was…it was there.

So, after sitting through the initial info-gathering portion of the appointment answering questions about previous deliveries, prior pregnancy issues, etc., the doctor finally grabbed that doppler thingy and I was all “okay, this is it…”

I mentioned my irrational anxiety to the doctor as he prepared the doppler and he was kind of like:
— 6 —
The doc put the doppler on my tummy and immediately I heard the swoosh-swoosh-swoosh and:
…sweet relief!

— 7—

Then it was very clear that there was only ONE heartbeat.  And while the blessing of twins is definitely something awesome indeed, I still felt like this:

My Little Buddy is 4 Years Old Today!

Happy Birthday, Dominic!

Four years ago, you were born on a snowy, wintery day. You are my first son. From the minute they left you alone on the warmer, and you were alert, but quiet, and you draped your leg over the edge like you were just “hanging out, dude”… from that moment, I knew you were a laid back kid. I had a hunch you would be “just like your daddy” and you really are in so many respects.

 For starters, you’re the spittin’ image:

All of my boys in Nov 2012
Dominic at 3 years 11 months


I have been known to say that I carried you in my womb for 9+ months, but that’s pretty much the only obvious way to tell you’re not a Craig-Clone. 🙂

But not only are you a look-alike model of your daddy, you are compassionate and sweet and oh-so-smart! You have a wit that most people would die for. You find the perfect opportunity to say something funny and you make people laugh. You are happy and full of beautiful life!

You have taught me so much.

You started preschool this year…wow!

Dominic all ready for his 1st day of preschool!
Dominic with his preschool teacher

You have such a way with people and it’s amazing because you are so young!  You like to make faces…

Dominic’s “Home Alone” face

Dominic’s pensive look
You enjoy yourself and you are a pretty cool cat…

I could never have imagined all the blessings bestowed on our family because you are here. You’re a wonderful baby brother to your sisters and a loving big bro to Vincent. You’re a sensitive boy who avoids getting in trouble or having to sit in time-out. 

You have the sweetest demeanor about you…

yes, it seems like it is ALL. THE. TIME.
Happy Birthday, Little Buddy.  
Your mommy loves you more than you could ever know.  
You’re gonna knock ’em dead as a 4-year-old!

Monday Mumbles – 37

It’s Monday again! Funny thing about Mondays…they always come back around. I haven’t mumbled in a few weeks, but we had a “happenin'” weekend, so I thought I’d share!

1.  At 8:30 a.m. CT today, I’ll be having my first OB appointment.  Pray that the heartbeat is strong and easy to find?  🙂

2.  Our weekend was crazy!  Crazy! 

3.  Sarah’s first club volleyball tournament was Saturday.  First and foremost:  it was a blast!  I had so much fun watching her play.

4.  I’m very proud of her with how much she’s improved since the end of our school league play.  She’s now serving overhand (regularly and reliably) nice and strong.  She’s also getting a good feel for setting the ball and giving her teammates good looks for hits.

5.  Pool play was 2 games against each team in the pool and I will do a little bit of momma-bragging and say that the three losses did not come when my baby girl was on the court.  (is that wrong of me?)  And, the last game in pool play that they won, Sarah was the player serving 3 straight points for the win!!  I was so proud!!

6.  She was exhausted Saturday.  Just to give you an idea:  we arrived at 7:00 a.m. at the venue, they started pool play at 8:00, they played all through pool play and made it to the playoffs, they played the playoffs and then had to referee the next game after they lost and we were finally on our way home around 5:30 p.m.

7.  I was exhausted, too!  It’s hard to sit on those benches all day long.  I loved watching my kid play, but my butt was sore from those bleachers.  Note to self:  Must get cushy-seat-thingy.

8.  Sunday, she still had volleyball practice and her coach worked them hard.  (I have a girl-coach-crush on her coach:  she is the kind of coach I want for my daughter because she is tough and she works them hard and she doesn’t take any nonsense!)

9.  My volleyball player!!

10.   We booked our lodging for our vacation over spring break!  We are actually going to have a family vacation for the first time in 3 years!  I’m excited!!!