Monday Mumbers – 11

Good Monday Morning.  Let’s get ready to MUMBLE!  (for some reason I always wanted to do that)
1.  Vincent turned 4 months old yesterday!  Isn’t he cute??
2.  Lunch with the manager of the training area is today!  Say a prayer or two for me, would you?  It would be great to figure out a way to pursue my “dream job that isn’t staying at home with my children”
3.  Our volleyball team won their first match yesterday in three games. 
4.  Our volleyball team lost their second match yesterday in three games.
5.  sigh.  I enjoy coaching, I really do.  But the season is long.  We’ve been practicing since mid-August, so I have to say that I am glad the tournament starts next weekend and we’ll be doing a wrap-up.  Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem that our calendar gets any less busy for some reason.  hmmm.
6.  Someone sent me this video via e-mail tonight.  I shared it on Facebook and I tweeted it and now I’m posting it here.  It’s 33 minutes long.  It’s important.  I hope you are able to take the time and view it.  Be ready to watch something incredible. 
7.  Yesterday another blog I follow shared this video of Rick Santorum.  It’s NOT 33 minutes…but it’s also worth your time.  (Yes, I’m in the video-sharing mood, I guess).
8.  Oh yeah…I guess something called Halloween is going on today!  Happy Halloween!  I hope your little ghouls and goblins and saints and (insert whatever your little ones like to dress up as) have a great time.  My clan?  We’re going to the Vigil Mass for All Saints Day this evening.  My parish had an All Hallow’s Eve celebration Friday night that we went to and I informed the kids that was our Halloween.  I’m not trick-or-treating on a school night.  Sorry.  (old-stodgy-scroogy-momma!)
9.  I guess some parts of the country got snow this weekend.  Ha!  We had beautiful weather!  I took each of my girls for a little run on Saturday.  Sarah was first and we did a run/walk that amounted to 1.2 miles.  Then I grabbed Dani and we did the same route.  (Dani was faster than Sarah…shhhh, don’t tell anyone.)  Then I grabbed Helen and we went about .75 miles.  Poor Helen got a little short-changed because…well, honestly, because her Momma has had 5 kids and it’s kind of rough (all you mothers out there that have deigned to run after having kids may know what I’m referring to…)  ANYWAY, it was lots of fun and I got a little 1:1 time with each of my princesses.
10.  Dominic has been rather fussy lately.  I guess he decided to give us a taste of Terrible Two’s after all.  And here, I thought I would get through his third year unscathed.  Oh well, pray that it passes quickly, will you, dear bloggy-friends?

Hope you have a terrific Monday.  And go visit my dear friend, TOOJE, for more Mumbles.

Thankful Thursdays (2)

It’s time for another edition of Thankful Thursdays, hosted by Rebecca at The Road Home.
Today, I am thankful:
-1-
For my friend TOOJE (aka “Jessica”).  Do you know that I wouldn’t have a blog if I hadn’t stumbled onto hers a couple of years ago?  I worked with her and we became Facebook friends first.  Then I came across one of her blogposts, read it and saw where she referenced “The Catholic Lady” at work (and I figured out it was me!!!)  We’ve become a bit better than acquaintances I would say.  And I’m so thankful to have her in my life!
-2-
Leading on from #1…I am thankful that I started to blog because through Jessica and through my blog, I met Rebecca!  I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this friendship.  Sometimes it’s nice to know that someone else out in the big, bad world had an experience so similar to your own.  Rebecca and I share the experience of growing up “cradle Catholic” and largely ignorant of the teachings of our faith.  Then discovering the truths of our Catholic faith as adults.  We share the experience of growing up in a divorced household.  We share a love of sports for our respective schools.  I’m so thankful to have Rebecca in my life!

Stress and Relief

When a baby is born, and your family starts adjusting to the new addition, it’s easy sometimes to forget what you had to do to get to that point.  I guess I should say that new stresses replace old stresses in a way.  You start worrying about diaper rashes, dietary considerations and sleep(less) nights.  You stop worrying about viability and progesterone and braxton hicks.
Yesterday, as I was thinking about the fact that it was a year since I found out I was pregnant with Vincent, I thought back to those first 15 weeks and I remembered the worry, the fear, the uncertainty.

For each of my last three pregnancies, I have had trouble having enough progesterone through the first trimester.  It started with Helen and I was able to supplement orally with progesterone tablets nightly through 13 weeks.  Then, with Dominic, I had to supplement again, just a little bit differently.  With Vincent, I had to move all the way to getting injections twice a week of progesterone directly into my bloodstream.  Stress.

The first few weeks of pregnancy are just periods of worry between blood draws, hoping I have enough progesterone to get to the next one without losing the baby.  With Vincent, every time my phone caller ID came up “Dr. H…….” I knew I was about to find out something about my progesterone.  With every call in those early weeks, it was always the nurse saying, “Well, your number is still dropping, so we need to do X, Y or Z”  More Stress.
I went to see our priest to get the Annointing of the Sick as we began the progesterone injections.  I remember the feeling of peace after the Sacrament had been administered and I knew it was in God’s hands at that point.  All I could do was take care of myself and pray for my little baby. 
Then came an impromptu visit to the doctor due to some cramping.  And in that moment, I forgot that everything was in God’s hands.  I was about 12 weeks along.  Dr. could not find the heartbeat.  I had heard my other babies’ heartbeats by 9 weeks.  The tears started to fall.  I couldn’t help them.  So, he asked if he could do a pelvic, and I agreed.  He had a med student following him that week and he came in and between the two of them, they jostled me around until we heard that little heart beating away.  Relief.  Though temporary.
It’s so funny, but once I was past the injections because my progesterone numbers jumped sufficiently around 15 weeks, I all but forgot those early weeks of worry and stress.  I spent the rest of my pregnancy relaxing and simply waiting.  I busied myself with all of my other children and their activities, my job, my activities.
It’s amazing to me now that I hold Vincent in the evenings and he’s this perfect little baby boy.  He coos.  He grins.  He laughs.  He eats.  He sleeps.  
A year ago, he was tiny, helpless, vulnerable, and to the world…  invisible.
Today, he is still tiny and helpless and vulnerable…but to the world, he is no longer  invisible.
A year ago, my stresses centered on my own health and my body’s ability to carry a baby through the first trimester.
Today, my stress centers on giving Vincent enough to eat, making sure he gets enough sleep, working on developmental milestones.  Acclimating him to our family life.  Acclimating our family life to him.
I have to force myself somewhat to remember those early weeks because they are now a very distant memory.  

And four months from now, when Vincent’s earthly age has doubled, today will feel like a very distant memory, too.

Monday Mumbles – 10

Good morning!  It’s Monday!  Time to Mumble and Grumble my way back into another busy busyweek.
1.  Ugh.  There’s a general PTO meeting tonight and guess who didn’t set up a babysitter?  oy.  First one I will miss, I think EVER.
2.  My 5th grade girls won their volleyball match yesterday!  They only had one, though…so it kind of kept us exactly where we were in the standings.  But they played well and beat a team from a really big school (that team has THREE teams from their 5th grade…).
3.  I really hope some things calm down related to work.  Like family members passing away and family crisis, and all that jazz.  You know, just in time for the Holidays and everything that comes along with that.
4.  One year ago tonight, I came home from the general PTO meeting and took a pregnancy test.  I found out my little Vincent was on his way.  I have a series of posts I am working on as I reflect on the first trimester of a year ago.  It was quite an interesting time in my (and his) life!
5. Our family descended on the Pumpkin Patch this weekend!  Got some good photos.  I even got some with all five of my kiddos (Sarah holding Vincent).  Maybe I’ll update my photo header again.  (BTW – when Kelsey redesigned my blog, I think the best money I spent was having it so I could just send her pictures to update that thing any time I needed it).

Well, I’m running late, so 5 mumbles is all I got!  Have a great Monday.  If you would like to see where Mumbles originated, go visit TOOJE, and read her Mumbles for today.  And if you Mumble on Monday, let her know!  She gets all tickled when other people Mumble on Monday, too.  🙂

7 Quick Takes (12)

— 1 —
So, that lunch yesterday with the other manager didn’t happen.  I knew in the beginning she had a meeting that might run long, so I wasn’t surprised to get her proposal for a new day/time.  But I was sad just the same.  Oh well.  Gives me something to look forward to!
— 2 —
On Facebook, I converted to the new Timeline a couple of weeks ago.  I have had a blast looking through my status updates from 2007.   First of all, I joined Facebook at 8:02 p.m. on June 6, 2007.  And at 8:14 p.m., Facebook recognized my marriage.  haha.
— 3 —
Remember when every status started with YOUR NAME is – and then you would write out whatever it was you were doing?  
And shortly after I started getting the hang of Facebook, they changed it to where it was only your name and you could type “is” or you could type something else to note your “status.”  
The only thing Timeline shows is what I typed in after “(MY NAME) is…” or a little bit after I joined, “(MY NAME)”
Sample of some of my status updates in 2007:
August 30, 2007 at 9:23 p.m.:  “Getting ready for Dani’s 4th birthday tomorrow!!”
November 17, 2007 at 9:05 p.m.:  “is celebrating the Jayhawks Football team being 11-0!!!”  
Haha, that will probably never happen again in my lifetime.  🙂
November 7, 2007 at 2:53 p.m.:  “is riding around Richmond, VA with Grandad visiting family and catching up.”  
That was the last day I saw my Grandad.  I miss him sometimes.
Okay, I am going to have to do a whole post on this topic.  it’s too great!  I like the Timeline thing on Facebook (no kidding, right?)
— 4 —
Our volleyball team is in 3rd place.  The top four teams advance to the City Tournament after the season.  I was kind of surprised to see we were solidly in 3rd place, but I’m not sure why.  The girls have come on strong the last couple of weeks.  We have beaten a couple of teams that beat us earlier in the season.  I hope they continue to improve!
— 5 —
Craig ran his first half-marathon last week.  And he lived to tell about it!  So he capped off his 40th year with a bang!  I think we’re planning to run together next year…maybe the full, but definitely the half!
— 6 —

I caught this video of Dominic singing his ABC’s.  I love it that children are not self-conscious when they are little.  Sing it, sweetie! 
— 7 —
Okay, I cannot get enough of the cuteness.  Seriously.  Can you?

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Thankful Thursdays (1)

So, after my post last night, I think I need to spend some time in Thankful mode so I don’t wallow in my non-me-time too long.  🙂  Thank you, Rebecca!
1.  I am thankful for Fall.  I love the fall.  Besides football and falling leaves, I love Chili cooking in the crockpot with cornbread baking in the oven.  And I love the anticipation of Halloween.  And Thanksgiving.  And Christmas.
2.  I am thankful for my husband.  Who cleaned our bathroom yesterday.  Not sure how I picked up such a gem, but I sure am thankful.
3.  I’m thankful for changes at work.  Even though I have to decompress/debrief and stop being scared of my own shadow…I’m starting to get used to it all.
4.  Lunch with the manager of a different department at work today.  She’s the manager of the training element of our Human Resources area.  Yay!

Have a great Thursday and visit Rebecca for more Thankful Thursday entries!

Funky Monkey

Have you ever had one of those days/weeks/months where you wish you could just be left alone?
I’m a fairly outgoing person.  I like to talk to people.  I like people to talk to me.  But lately, I haven’t wanted to talk to many people and I’ve wanted to avoid having people talk to me.  
This includes my children to some extent.  I am short with them.  I rush them when they are trying to tell me something.  I avoid beginning discussions when it’s about 15 minutes to bedtime to avoid having them stay up late and talk to me. 

An exception is Sarah.  I have been trying to talk to her more lately…I want to know what’s going on at school…are the girls treating each other well?  Who did she eat lunch with?  What did she do at recess?  Does she like the book she is reading?

But for the most part, lately, I’d be perfectly content to sit on the couch and hold my almost-4-month-old baby all night long because, well, he doesn’t talk yet.

Is this normal? (Of course it is…)
Don’t get me wrong.  I still want to see my children and take part in their active lives.  I still want to see my husband and hang out and do something.  But I want to spend more time alone than WITH anyone.

It’s not ALL the time.  

But it’s the last couple of weeks.  

And maybe it will be the next couple of weeks and be gone.  Or maybe it will be longer than that and I will not notice it until it passes in 6 months and I have managed to alienate someone.

Or everyone.


Do you go through times where you prefer to be by yourself?
Perhaps I should spend that time in prayer…but even then, I don’t really feel like spending time with God either.  (Oy, does that make me a heathen?)
I am feeling like I’m in a funk.  I’m back at work so my weeks feel like 5 days of going to work and then going to sleep all rushed together followed by 2 days of endless running around to church, school events, volleyball games…
I feel very selfish for what I am about to say:

I feel like I don’t get a chance to do anything I want to do. 

Wow, I feel like the worst mother ever for saying that.

*sigh*